Not a creature was stirring, they were waiting for their star.
The jerseys were worn as people gathered in prayer,
In hopes that LeBron James would soon return there.
The Clevelandites were nestled all snug on their stools,
While visions of championships came, Oh what fools.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, her son in his cap,
Had just turned the tube to the King's big trap.
Out in the city there awaited such a clatter,
If James went elsewhere, windows would shatter.
Outside to join them he would fly like a flash,
To tear open garbage and throw up the trash.
The moon on the breast of the down-trodden town,
Gave the lustre to the James poster on the arena down.
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
LeBron on TV, what's there to hear?
With a jig in his step, so lively and quick,
The boy knew in a moment it wasn't a trick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers he came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called Miami by name!
After all this time he made his decision,
It was harsher than anything the boy could ever envision!
He was going to South Beach to play basketball,
Telling Cleveland "F--- you! F--- you! F--- you all!"
As reality set in things started to fly,
People meet with the police, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the boxes full of jerseys, matches and gasoline too.
And then, in a twinkling, the boy heard on the news
That owner Dan Gilbert was blowing his fuse.
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Gilbert and his letter came with a bound.
On the Cavaliers' website the tirade was put,
As those jerseys became nothing but ashes and soot.
A bundle of grievances he had on his back,
And he looked like a looney, ready to crack.
His words how they twinkled! his promises how merry!
The "self-titled former King" fired Coach Brown and Danny Ferry,
But now he's leaving in a "narcissistic" decision,
And thus the thrashing began with quaint precision.
"A heartless and callous action" the bastard lied through his teeth!
And the backlash it encircled James' head like a wreath.
"A shameful display of selfishness and betrayal"
Telling Cleveland "F--- you! F--- you! F--- you all!"
As reality set in things started to fly,
People meet with the police, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the boxes full of jerseys, matches and gasoline too.
And then, in a twinkling, the boy heard on the news
That owner Dan Gilbert was blowing his fuse.
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Gilbert and his letter came with a bound.
On the Cavaliers' website the tirade was put,
As those jerseys became nothing but ashes and soot.
A bundle of grievances he had on his back,
And he looked like a looney, ready to crack.
His words how they twinkled! his promises how merry!
The "self-titled former King" fired Coach Brown and Danny Ferry,
But now he's leaving in a "narcissistic" decision,
And thus the thrashing began with quaint precision.
"A heartless and callous action" the bastard lied through his teeth!
And the backlash it encircled James' head like a wreath.
"A shameful display of selfishness and betrayal"
Enemy number one is LeBron's new portrayal.
Gilbert was joyous and determined, a right jolly old elf,
But I laughed when I heard him, in spite of myself!
A title before the Heat! a promise! he said,
With Shaq and Antawn Jamison, I foresee losing instead.
He was talking crazy, while Miami went straight to work,
They had Wade, Bosh, and now LeBron, Pat Riley you jerk!
The King basically laid his finger on the side of his nose,
And with regards to Cleveland, the middle finger it rose!
James fled to the South, to the Cavs gave a whistle,
And away he went, the city recovering from the missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Cleveland you're f---ed on this very night!"
Gilbert was joyous and determined, a right jolly old elf,
But I laughed when I heard him, in spite of myself!
A title before the Heat! a promise! he said,
With Shaq and Antawn Jamison, I foresee losing instead.
He was talking crazy, while Miami went straight to work,
They had Wade, Bosh, and now LeBron, Pat Riley you jerk!
The King basically laid his finger on the side of his nose,
And with regards to Cleveland, the middle finger it rose!
James fled to the South, to the Cavs gave a whistle,
And away he went, the city recovering from the missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Cleveland you're f---ed on this very night!"
Awesome. What a funny read. Can you imagine Jordan doing this?
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