Williams' Shoulders Just Got Heavier

Ah, only a few days into training camp and already there is drama with deep, subtle meanings. Coming out of the Dallas Cowboys' camp, the topic on the surface is that of rookie hazing. Wide receiver Roy E. Williams told rookie wideout Dez Bryant to carry his pads, which Bryant refused to do. This led to a brief distraction, but ultimately the spat was resolved. With the problem behind the team now, there were strong implications made. And for Williams, they aren't good.

First, let's look at hazing. The event has been a long-standing tradition in sports, especially football. In Dallas alone the lineman are often given very attractive haircuts, and former coach Bill Parcells would make the rookies fetch him water during practice. Heck, on my high school baseball team the freshmen carried all the heavy equipment and then some, then when they could carry no more the sophomores would get the rest. It's just a part of sports. Now, if the required rituals could possibly cause injury, that's one thing. Athletes get hurt in stupid ways enough as is. But to make a player get water, do an embarrassing song-and-dance routine, or carry pads -- activities which only baseball players could find a way to get hurt -- the rookie should just suck it up and do it. Even tying players to the goalpost with toilet paper is fairly harmless. (Williams, by the way, said he will not ask Bryant to carry his pads. However, when the rookie pays for a team dinner, Williams threatened to be "a little more hungry and a little more thirsty.") The acts are harmless, it is not personal since it happens to every rookie, and it's a right of way. Bryant used the ignorance card and said he was unaware of the rituals, which might have come from the big man upstairs (Jerry Jones). It had to, considering that's a joke. Undoubtedly his high school and college teams made the freshmen do stuff just like everywhere else. Plus, he's friends with Deion Sanders, who was probably the Michael Jordan of hazing. To claim to be unaware of its existence in sports is a lie, and the fact of the matter is he should have carried the pads and gotten it over with. That was not the case here, though, as coach Wade Phillips publicly favored Bryant in this debate, saying:

"I don't believe we should need to initiate anybody. They need to come out and play football and be a part of the team... If [hazing] makes a guy uncomfortable, he shouldn't have to."

Here's where things could become cloudy for Williams. On the surface this could be a coach simply saying the right thing to protect his rookie wideout. After all, Bryant hasn't played in a game since September 19 of last year, and if he is more concerned with hazing than catching passes, it could be detrimental to a team that has been looking for a quality #2 receiver. But the far more likely case is that Phillips would choose Bryant over Williams, and therefore sided with the better player with far more potential. If it was Tony Romo, Jason Witten, or Miles Austin, all among the best at their respective positions, telling Bryant to carry their pads, I believe Phillips would have told Bryant to shut up and carry them. Williams, though, is not a star. Last year he only caught 38 passes and did not surpass 600 yards, while being credited with eight drops. In ten games the year before he only grabbed 19 balls for a shade under 200 yards. He has been an overwhelming disappointment in his time in the Big D, and most writers say they will be shocked if Williams, not Bryant, is the number two receiver by Week 1. Williams himself admits that Bryant is an amazing talent, saying, "The dude is scary. The dude is good and he doesn't even know it yet. Once the light bulb goes on he will probably be the best in the league. He's a man among boys." Even he knows it is only a matter of time before Bryant joins Austin as the starters, and soon becomes Romo's go-to guy.

This goes far beyond Phillips siding with Bryant over something as trivial as carrying pads. This is Phillips knowing that Bryant will soon surpass Williams on the depth chart, if he hasn't done so already, and is basically telling Williams that his place in the Cowboys organization is not as prized as he had thought. (Hmm.... doesn't that sound awfully familiar to another certain receiver who played for Dallas? One who just signed with the Bengals? Just thought it was worth mentioning.) Calling the 8th year man out of Texas an afterthought doesn't seem appropriate, since he hasn't made a significant impact on the field. I'm thinking he's a "never-thought", and soon enough him and his remaining 5-year/$45 million contract will be out of Dallas.

TO vs. the NFL

"Why won't anyone sign me?"

The last kernel of popcorn might have popped for Terrell Eldorado Owens. As big a distraction as he is a playmaker, the free agent wide receiver has been looking for offers for months, with no success. And with voluntary and mandatory organized team activities a thing of the past and the start of training camp looming, it seems as though time is ticking for TO to sign with a team, learn the play book, and have an immediate positive impact. I, for one, cannot believe someone as good as Owens is still available. All of the things that have been labeled as "negative" cannot be blamed on Owens. It is everyone else's fault! Let's take a look-sie and find out just why teams aren't signing the star, and see where he will possibly end up this season. We start with 32 candidates:

Mediocre performance: Ok, sure, his stats have declined rapidly since 2007 (see below).

Year (Team)	Receptions	Yards	Touchdowns
2007 (Dallas)	81	1355	15
2008 (Dallas)	69	1052	10
2009 (Buffalo)	55	829	5

But it most certainly is not Owens's fault! Firstly, Bill Parcells obviously devised a complex, multi-year scheme to drive Owens out of Dallas. After his retirement in 2007, when asked what he learned from the Big Tuna, Owens stated quite frankly, "Nothing really." Infuriated, Parcells then called quarterback Tony Romo and tight end Jason Witten and the following discussion took place:

BP: You hear TO's comments?

TR and JW (in unison): Yes, sir.

BP: How can that fool say he learned nothing from me? ME?! I'm Bill Parcells! I won a Super Bowl with freaking Phil Simms, and then another with Jeff Hostetler. I'm the guy who paid Scott Norwood to miss wide left! I mean, sure, he missed wide right, but it still did the trick. I even taught Bill Belichick how to ruin franchises! I'm pretty much a god, a combination of Vince Lombardi's mind, Johnny Depp's charm, and of course, Bill Parcells' striking good looks. Right fellas?

TR: Of course, sir, you are the greatest thing to ever happen to football.

JW: I agree with him.

BP: Good. Now, I brought you two here to get TO out of Dallas. As you know, he has a bit of an ego. So I was thinking let's boost up his ego in 2007. Tony, you will throw to him a lot. He'll get 12, maybe 1300 yards and he'll think he's the greatest thing to ever happen to Cowboys football. But then this is when my devious plan will begin. In 2008 you will not throw to him as much, and in the process you will spend all of your free time with Jason here so he gets mad. Got it?

TR: Yes, sir. Anything for you. But won't Wade Phillips notice?

BP: Are you stupid? That idiot thinks he's a good coach. Someone that dumb could not possibly catch on to my genius plan.

This plan was put into place, TO only caught ten TDs, and he was released in the off-season. The decline has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he is in his mid-30s and that he dropped 10 passed in '08. To think it was his performance that drove him out of Dallas is absurd. Just absurd. And because Parcells has connections around the league, teams are collectively turning against him. Eliminate: Dallas, Miami, New York Giants and Jets, New England... 27 candidates left.

From there he went to Buffalo. BUFFALO!!! He had Trent Edwards and Ryan Fitzpatrick throwing to him all season. Why don't you try catching their crap passes for a season and see if you can catch more than five touchdowns and more than 51 balls. Go ahead, I dare you. In fact, when you compare 36-year-old Owens' stats to those of other great receivers at that age, he's among the best!

Player (Team)	Catches	Yards	TDs
Owens	51	829	5
Jerry Rice (San Francisco)	82	1157	9
Tim Brown (Oakland)	81	930	2
Cris Carter (Minnesota)	73	871	6

The nine passes he dropped were not his fault. Maybe if his quarterbacks learned to throw a spiral he would have caught more. General managers have to take that into consideration before signing him. If you want results at receiver, you need a good quarterback. Sheesh. Take out all the teams with bad/inexperienced passers who don't respect TO's obvious greatness. Eliminate: Buffalo, Oakland, San Francisco, Denver, Cleveland, Chicago, Tampa Bay, Arizona, Jacksonville, Tennessee, Kansas City, Carolina, Pittsburgh (at least until Week 5 to 7), Detroit, St. Louis... 12 candidates left.

Then there was an interesting quote brought up by San Diego GM AJ Smith, who said "We're all set with wide receivers." Good point. I mean, after all their star receiver Vincent Jackson is suspended the first three games of the season, and then could sit out after that to get a new contract. And Malcolm Floyd, the number three receiver behind TE Antonio Gates, is pretty good (45 catches, 776 yards, 1 TD). You can't blame Owens because there are teams out there like the Chargers who have such a solid receiving corps. This is a pass-happy league now, so there are plenty of teams who are as set at receiver as San Diego. Plus, TO is a #1 receiver. Someone with his ability cannot possibly settle for a role as #2 on the depth charts. He simply won't fit on a team with an established go-to guy. Eliminate: San Diego, Green Bay, New Orleans, Philadelphia, Minnesota, Atlanta, Houston, Indianapolis... 4 teams left.

That leaves Baltimore, Cincinnati, Washington, and Seattle. Well he definitely cannot play for the Redskins because Donovan McNabb is the quarterback there now. McNabb is the baby who whined about a sports hernia while he was playing. Cry me a river Donovan. Everyone knows sports hernias are the mosquito bites of sports injuries. They're bothersome, and only little kids complain about them. Don't go blaming someone as tough as TO and driving him out of Philly. And for that matter, forget Cincy, too. Carson Palmer is not tough enough, either. He had to leave the 2005 AFC Wild-Card round on the team's first pass play because 300-lb lineman Kimo von Oelhoffen landed on his knee and tore his ACL, MCL, and the meniscus. A real man would have gotten up and kept throwing. How can someone as good as Owens possibly be expected to play with someone so weak? Plus, he watched Chad Ochocinco's new VH1 show "Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch" and thought to himself "Please, that's just a publicity stunt for an aging receiver. Now 'The T.O. Show', that has class." Eliminate: Washington, Cincinnati... 2 teams left.

So now there are two teams, and both seem good enough for TO to deem them worthy of his presence, right? WRONG. Drew Rosenhaus is his agent. He is loud, obnoxious, and teams hate dealing with the man. The NFLPA has investigated him for signing clients who already had other agents, however they found nothing concrete. It still doesn't change the fact that they dislike him. So what could they do? Sabotage, that's what. Kevin Mawae is the president of the Players' Association. Mawae was drafted by the Seahawks in 1994, and he performed well for them. He won't allow a player like TO, who is a "troublemaker" (psh) to "burden" the team. The powers that be won't let him go to Seattle, which leaves only Baltimore. But the problem with the Ravens is that their QB, Joe Flacco, went to Delaware. That's an FCS school, and a mediocre one at that. If you're going to attend an FCS school, at least go somewhere respectable, like per se, Tennessee-Chattanooga. Owens spent four years playing against FCS-quality opponents. He doesn't deserve to have FCS-quality quarterbacks throw to him. Eliminate: Seattle, Baltimore... 0 teams left.

So there you have it. No one is a candidate to sign TO. But just remember, it's not him, it's everyone else. Over the course of this post I figured out just why no one has signed him. No one is worthy, that's why. Terrell Owens is too good for their deceitful or mediocre ways. He needs a real team, one that will put up with his rambunctious ways. One that will encourage this, and at the same time give him plenty of that. Let the bidding begin, and the waiting to continue.

'Twas the Night of The Decision

'Twas the night of The Decision, when all through the bar
Not a creature was stirring, they were waiting for their star.
The jerseys were worn as people gathered in prayer,
In hopes that LeBron James would soon return there.

The Clevelandites were nestled all snug on their stools,
While visions of championships came, Oh what fools.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, her son in his cap,
Had just turned the tube to the King's big trap.

Out in the city there awaited such a clatter,
If James went elsewhere, windows would shatter.
Outside to join them he would fly like a flash,
To tear open garbage and throw up the trash.

The moon on the breast of the down-trodden town,
Gave the lustre to the James poster on the arena down.
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
LeBron on TV, what's there to hear?

With a jig in his step, so lively and quick,
The boy knew in a moment it wasn't a trick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers he came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called Miami by name!

After all this time he made his decision,
It was harsher than anything the boy could ever envision!

He was going to South Beach to play basketball,
Telling Cleveland "F--- you! F--- you! F--- you all!"

As reality set in things started to fly,
People meet with the police, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the boxes full of jerseys, matches and gasoline too.

And then, in a twinkling, the boy heard on the news
That owner Dan Gilbert was blowing his fuse.
As he drew in his head, and was turning around,
Gilbert and his letter came with a bound.

On the Cavaliers' website the tirade was put,
As those jerseys became nothing but ashes and soot.
A bundle of grievances he had on his back,
And he looked like a looney, ready to crack.

His words how they twinkled! his promises how merry!
The "self-titled former King" fired Coach Brown and Danny Ferry,
But now he's leaving in a "narcissistic" decision,
And thus the thrashing began with quaint precision.

"A heartless and callous action" the bastard lied through his teeth!
And the backlash it encircled James' head like a wreath.
"A shameful display of selfishness and betrayal"

Enemy number one is LeBron's new portrayal.

Gilbert was joyous and determined, a right jolly old elf,
But I laughed when I heard him, in spite of myself!
A title before the Heat! a promise! he said,
With Shaq and Antawn Jamison, I foresee losing instead.

He was talking crazy, while Miami went straight to work,
They had Wade, Bosh, and now LeBron, Pat Riley you jerk!
The King basically laid his finger on the side of his nose,
And with regards to Cleveland, the middle finger it rose!

James fled to the South, to the Cavs gave a whistle,
And away he went, the city recovering from the missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Cleveland you're f---ed on this very night!"

Some More of the Same

The pieces are beginning to fall in the NBA. The Heat are the big winners thus far, as they re-signed Dwyane Wade and added Chris Bosh. Dallas and Atlanta kept their stars in Dirk Nowitzki and Joe Johnson, respectively, so while they didn't improve, they didn't get worse either. And on Thursday night, LeBron James will announce where he's headed. With the amount of coverage it's going to get you would think the president, pope, and Jesus would be there. That will essentially determine the future of many NBA teams. There is the potential that Cleveland becomes a bottom-feeder once again, that New Jersey continues to be a bad team, that Miami could go on superstar overload, or that Chicago could become the best team in the league.

And then there are the Knicks. Oh, the Knicks. For two years they cleared cap space, got rid of talent, did everything short of scoring points for the other team (though Nate Robinson tried his best in that department), all in an effort to get the King. Now with each day I find it harder and harder to believe James will sign with New York, and times are getting desperate. They have $33 million in cap space for this season, and they plan on spending it whether the player is deserving of the money or not. Enter Amar'e Stoudemire, who signed a 5-year, $100 million contract on Sunday. In response to his signing, Stoudemire told reporters "The Knicks are back." Back to what? Sucking? Because this move did absolutely nothing to improve their team. It had to be done because if they didn't land a big-name free agent, there's a 99% chance no one would show up to Madison Square Garden next season, except for Spike Lee, of course. But in terms of basketball, this is just another desperate move that will end in more futility. Does this seem a little familiar?

There's no questioning that Stoudemire is an offensive force to be reckoned with. He has been called one of the most ferocious dunkers in the league. He averaged 23 points last year, and for his career averages 21. But the Knickerbockers don't need an improvement on offense. They were tenth in the league in scoring. Plus, his 23 points isn't that much of an improvement over the 20 points David Lee averaged. To go along with those 20 points, Lee grabbed nearly 12 rebounds a game. His 52 double-doubles were fourth in the league, behind only Dwight Howard, Zach Randolph, and Carlos Boozer. Stoudemire, meanwhile, had only 31 double-doubles, and in the postseason averaged only 6.6 boards a game. He reached double digits in rebounds only three times, and in Games 5 and 6 of the Western Conference Finals against the Lakers he grabbed four boards. That's a pathetic number for a 6-10 power forward. He might occasionally go off for 40 points, and 20 points are pretty guaranteed every night, but then again, Lee is one of the most consistent centers in the league, and a double-double is all but assured. That consistency may not be sexy, but it's still pretty darn good. And look at how Stoudemire got a lot of those points. He would set a screen for 2-time MVP Steve Nash, roll to the basket, get a nice no-look pass, and have an easy dunk. He had the luxury of playing with a Top-3 point guard who averaged 10 assists a game. The Knicks' leading assist man was the now-departed Chris Duhon, who had a mere 5.6 dimes per game. Stoudemire is downgrading by monumental amounts in terms of the skill around him, and now has no one to get the ball from. Hmmm...

Then there is the whole defensive debacle. Stoudemire plays none. Had he played even a little defense, he would have been on the floor when Ron Artest hit his game-winner in Game 5 of the Conference Finals, instead of on the bench. That's right, a proclaimed superstar player in a superstar moment in the team's biggest game of the season, and he's sitting on the bench because he is a defensive liability. New York gave up 106 points a game last year, good for third-worst in the league.

So let's recap: He's not improving their defense (though Lee is just as bad a defender as him, but at least he rebounds), and he's not really improving the offense. For those of you keeping score at home, Stoudemire and Lee are about the same offensively and defensively, and Lee rebounds much better. And I didn't even mention that Lee is a better free throw shooter (81% to Amar'e's 77%), and has a better assist-to-turnover ratio (1.6 compared to Stoudemire's 0.4). Oh, and he did all this without another offensive force or decent point guard. Amar'e had Nash to give him the ball all the time. Now there is no one who is even mediocre, let alone talented, to give him the basketball. How will he score? He's on pace to become just another overpaid player, and replacing David Lee in favor of him seems pretty stupid from a basketball standpoint. It's not as bad as some of the other overpaid players president James Dolan has allowed to come in (like Eddy Curry, Steve Francis, Stephon Marbury, Penny Hardaway, Malik Rose, Jalen Rose, Jerome Williams, and Renaldo Balkman, to name a few), but I foresee more criticism in the coming years as the Knicks do not return to their former glory of the early '70s, or even the semi-success of the Patrick Ewing Era. The team with a winning percentage of .378 since 2003 seems much more likely.

I just spent three paragraphs explaining why David Lee is a better fit for the Knicks than Amar'e. That being said, I can understand why the Knicks needed to sign him. LeBron has been the goal for over two years. That seems more and more like a mere fantasy now, though they are still in the running. Plan B was to get Stoudemire along with Joe Johnson. Well Johnson is no longer available either. That doesn't leave many superstars to go after. Reports say that they are in talks with Carlos Boozer, but that could be quite possibly the dumbest move ever. Having two power forwards, neither big enough to play center, both demanding the ball? That would be a horrible competition, worse than the Redskins signing Brian Westbrook, Larry Johnson, and Willie Parker at running back, worse than the Broncos having Kyle Orton, trading for Brady Quinn, and drafting Tim Tebow at quarterback. I cannot see any conceivable way as to how that would work out for the better in the long run. If they had a Nash or a Chris Paul running the point it would be different, but right now the best New York has is Eddie House, who is a role player at best. That would be detrimental.

It's desperation time in New York. They've been telling fans to suffer through these hard times, because there is a bright future. THE LeBron James is coming! Well the time has finally come, and it looks as though King James could be going elsewhere. If I were a Knick fan I would be irate after putting up with lackluster basketball, then not getting James. Stoudemire at least provides some star power, and next year they can go whole-hog after Carmelo Anthony. But that is only a temporary solution. Eventually results will be expected, and when they don't come, problems will arise that will remind Dolan of the Isiah Thomas ordeal. If this isn't the end of James Dolan, it could at least be the beginning of the end for general manager Donnie Walsh. Everything is riding on James' announcement Thursday night. For someone who thinks there's no chance he signs with New York, I say RIP to the next 5 years in the Big Apple. But by now fans have got to be used to it. And for those who are nostalgic, here you go. I hope you enjoy.